Up The Chels!

Chelsea FC. a.k.a The Blues, The Pensioners ,The Blue Lions etc etc A football club based in Fulham, London started in 1905 with Stamford Bridge as it's home and fortress.

This is the post where i will actually confess all my true love to the club and also fill you in on a little somethin' somethin' as to why i fell in love in this beauty.



We as ChelseaFC fans (yes I used plurality) have been smashed with massive criticism in the past/present . and constantly labelled as 'plastic fans' or fake football fans, opportunists... bla bla bla.

Well, shut up already. you are going to hear my reasoning and accept it the way it is...(well you have no choice anyway  :-p ).So thing is, many of this 'plastic people' you say joined Chelsea in 2005 during the special one(Mourinho)'s tenure at The Bridge. i might agree with you. But to some extent,not quite correct.

Take me for example, i had started spotting my 'football heroes' starting from the year 2000 as a mere std 5 student.

This was influenced by the likes of Thierry Henry, Frank Lampard, John Terry (God Bless these men)

, F.Cannavaro, Pavel Nedved, Buffon , Vieira, Beckham, Zola, Makelele, Ballack, Hasselbaink,Bergkamp, M.Owen, Desaily,Ljunberg, Fowler, Gudjohnsen, Ronaldhino, Raul, Carlos, Cafu, Zidane, Figo, Ronaldo ,Ronaldinho, Roy Keane,.... well, the list is endless and sheer brilliance is just one of the words that you would use to define such class.

Therefore with all these guys above, it was difficult in choosing one particular team as a favourite therefore those were the days you would enjoy football sit back and watch the goals going in. 
Then came that point where now i had to choose my stand.

Well those who know my ego and i very well, also know that in almost everything i do i like to be unique. Unique in a sense that i don't like to associate myself in a group when it comes to selecting interests.  
Yeah , i know what you are all thinking... " too many managers, inconsistent results, Abramovich era,'splashing money' bla bla bla... " please shut up...shut the hell up.

Over the years, I have had 10 managerial changes to succumb to (the Fat Spanish Waiter included)

,and throughout the 12+ year spell, i can't say our the number of won trophies is meagre because, *insert Drake's Started from the bottom*  since we all start from somewhere :-p



<==== At least this idiot helped us clinch the 2013 Europa League Title & finishing 3rd in the recently concluded #BPL.
Thanks FSW, but you're still a c*nt :-D




OK, I don't know why y'all chose your teams, but i can give you quite a number of reasons that come into mind: (correct me if I'm wrong..... I'm not)

• The club has an illustrious history (you're an opportunist too dummy!!)
• Everybody is doing it
• My father/brother supported it, why shouldn't I?
• My boyfriend supported the club so automatically.... (Most girls i know)
• My favourite players are here (very few people select a club based on this criteria)
• I randomly picked the club
• I like their colours (he he he!)
• I want to be unique(Non-Applicable to Manchester United & Arsenal FCs)
• I want a club that's winning trophies
• I'm afraid of what people will say

I make a lot of sense,yes??

 So before i leave, i wanted to tell you block heads one thing, respect is key in all this. I don't condemn the 'shifters' and watermelons(green on the outside,red on the inside) of football. 

That's why even the most players who were thought to be loyal ,*chuckles*, ask for transfers.

Tevez, Adebayor, Gallas(debatable), Sol Campbell, Figo, etc etc (I intentionally left out Ashley Cole) but i won't forget the Brazilian Ronaldo who played for Barcelona then Real Madrid (Arch-Rivals), He also played for Inter Milan before moving to AC Milan (Arch-Rivals).

Lol. Even Daniel Agger was unhappy with RvP

Then in recent times, we have the Dutchman Robin Van Persie.  i won't dwell on that much, he's been trolled enough (i feel your pain Arsenal fans haha). He chose Manure United because he wanted to win trophies,  chose the No.20 jersey because he was sure they were winning their 20th title(which they did).. *sigh*

#UnluckyBrian

In conclusion I think everyone has his/her own right to support whatever team so don't go out lashing at others whereas your own decisions were as 'plastic' as the other guy it's just that you don't know it yet.

Final remarks: Suarez's target 'meal' should have actually been RvP instead of Ivanovic ====>.

Peace out Bitches!

She....

We met at a club... an instance very awkward, so bizarre, i bumped into her curvaceous body as i was exiting the gents room. she smiled and i said sorry as i looked down with a bagful of blush in my face... we excused  each other as we resumed to our individual ways. I couldn't concentrate. i staggered across the walk-through and almost knocked down one of the many busy bee waiters this was followed by a rude "wee kijana peleka pombe zako huko!" i just shrugged and squirmed through looking for my seat in distress. i had drank that much?

I shook my head three times and felt my brain arguing in my stupor state. I glanced down on my beer bottled and managed a grin as i gulped the remaining half of the bitter drink.
my boy Pete was busy making moves on the dance floor and he glanced back to take a quick 1-2 check on me and i raised my hand back barely managing a wave and he nodded and went back to one of his schemes of impressing the various pretty legs in short skirts surrounding him....

I managed a laugh and beckoned that idiot of a waiter and chucked to what seemed like Kes200 from my wallet and told him to get me a cold Pilsner. he looked at me with eeriness but went ahead. i noticed a familiar scent coming from my hand and it was that kind of scent i presume is found in flowers and nectar that has an attracting effect on bees. i tried to recall it's origin and that is when that pretty face, that long hair, that lingering smile came vividly in my mind. That beautiful lady ,that display of beauty and elegance that had accidentally bumped into me earlier. Mmmh i gave my hand a second whiff and grinned slyly from ear to ear. "I have to see her again!"......
My level 9 cloud of thinking was disrupted by a strong tug on the neck.. yaow.... "Wee msee acha za ovyo na vile madame ni kibao!"
ha ha this guy never rests, i thought to myself
"sawa nakam. Nangoja pili yangu ikuje" 

Then i saw her.... must have been her strong scent or my photographic memory had seen her clothing and set her apart from the hundreds in the club.I sprang up and gave my nigger a hard shove.. he was left there mumbling some quick nasty words but fuck it.. we had many more days to gravel each other, have fights and then reconcile... We had been for what 9years? he owed me that much anyway because this? this I just had to get. i manoeuvred my way quickly despite my drunken and clumsy structure... how was she moving so quickly and with still but still with ease and agility? ......

"hey!... ex...cuse me" i managed to croak out through the what seemed like 100,000 watts of music. Her hair flipped gracefully as she turned her head in surprise and for a few seconds i was in a trance just by that sight. she halted and i reached up to her and told her i wanted (needed) to talk to her. she nodded and smiled again and my heart was at ease. she motioned for us to get out and i reckoned she wanted a more quiet place perhaps.
:)
time was of essence and so i spat out my laments and showered her with as many one liners(regardless of how cheap) as i had in my head.
i guess i was reaaally drunk. O_o...
to my disbelief and dismay.... she told me though cheekily that one of her pals had shown her a drunk boy sitting alone and busy smelling his hand. {Dammit!}

She grabbed my shoulder (I almost fainted) and assured me that all was well and that it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. Her only query being that she found it preeetty awkward when this nigga took a whiff of his palm, since he had been to the loo & all . .. .. *laughter laughter*.
Come to think of it that could have been some funny shit to witness from someone who was viewing it from another angle...

By this time,we were getting really close to each other and as she was shorter than me i could see through her very tight translucent top/blouse and couldn't keep my eyes on her... mmmh... i felt a bead of sweat trickle down my neck.

I don't know which bastard shoved me from behind and this goddess had her face in mine, but I'm sure glad as hell he/she did it. One thing led to another and the next moment was filled with intense and sensual kissing.. Kissing that was out of this world... her luscious lips tingling mine with each kiss. I could tell she really wanted to since she groped my head and arm from the back and drove it towards her.. ohh myy i really wished Pete was here to see this and a part of me wanted to get him and bring him to the scene but why ruin a perfectly good moment. .... ... more kissing... ...... ...*

 "Aiyayaya wee Imelda unadu?? F*&^ $#....!!!" She froze and bit my lip. Wat the hell? i backed up and ,yes,
this time louder i heard it again this time more louder and gruff.

"Uyu ni nani ehh??Muthaf&*%$#"  I turned around in time to see a huge muscle-man darting towards us. that's when ,unfortunately, my drunk ego caught up with me. "Fu!&$%!",i gasped. I looked at her and saw her face turning a bit pale.
She started to mumble something at this huge goblin and i staggered back shaking my head furiously. there were many things that i could not connect together. Why would she do that? Did she mean it? Did she know he was there? before i could add one and one together, i felt like a huge iron anchor had smacked me across my jaw. Pow... i must have been flying for over three seconds as i tumbled and came hard on the hard concrete.
yow... i tried lifting my head up but laid back and felt something warm gushing out of my mouth. my sight was obscure and blurry an that was that... the air turned turned into vacuum as everything turned black.
*-*-*......
 "Imel....."

The characters and events in the above post are utterly fictitious

WAZEE HUKUMBUKA part2

>>>>
So My 512MB brain has been trying to remember what to write and finally the lights are back on and its time to get back in the high horse and ride.....okay lets get to it then, i wonder which boy (and some girls) didn't ride that bucket lid as a car???it was either that or the ride in the ol' wheel-barrow down hill <fun!> look at the following beauty!!>>

Sadly to say that this is the equivalent of these quad-bikes we see some of these rug rats poppin up on nowadays. Compare and contrast the following(10mks) :- :) :)

>>>>

Speaking of souped-up rides,who can forget the magnificent tyre! hmmm ----->...............wait a minute

are those white kids??? (not racist) he he

NB: If you were innovative enough,especially in ocha you would incorporate those sticks and the mud/stuff inside for a smooth cruise... lmao

>>>>

Police and Robbers!!! this had to be the coolest, slickest ,fun and indulging game of all {apart from 'cha babaa na mamaa' of course :} don't gimme that sly sneer, y'all know what i mean.The funny part of this game is that i always wanted to be a robber but i dunno why by default i always ended up being a cop...eveeery time. i wonder who always came up with these games back in the day and too bad coz the kids in the coming generation will be riding spaceships and all.. lol.

Moving on smoothly >>>> Look at this baby right here.....

                                                                                                                        Where the hell are safari ants nowadays?? Okay I'm not/was not a bug-freak or anything of the sort but this i can bear witness, each on of us has encountered one (if not a hundred) of these dreadful creatures once in our lives. Damn, if you poised yourself on  that smooth, caressing semi-dry lawn just right, you would prove to be a fine subject to the animosity of these minute but lethal insects.... i choose not to share my tiny winy encounter for reasons best kept to self *soft chuckle*

>>>>

My kid cousin can find his way more around new gadgets than i can.I'm saying this nigger can operate a 2030 iRobot (there's no such thing:p) if it came to him duck-taped while he was in his sleep... well I'm not proud of this but hey, they say we got to move as the world moves.

Too bad for my nigger there cuz he will never get the chance to play with a football made out of paper, build those 'grass traps' we always did in the field, play  brikicho bantureh(Sp) and also play with this AWESOME tool :

The Fairtron GSR-1000  dated (90BC-2000AD)!!!!

This weapon of mass destruction first appeared in the book of Samuel & Kings in the Bible. At a certain date B.C. where giant golia.... yeah yeah you know how the story goes...

This gadget though a rare commodity among some, was equally shared among community members. my young nephew would probably take me for a neanderthal if i presented it to him on his 9th birthday. :D

>>>>

Swimming! i had a crave for going too visit shosh because of one thing. Rivers! The things one would do there. dufo-mpararo. .. .. self explanatory

>>>

Okay not that we were cavemen but we also had had our swipe at evolving technology.....

Who can forget the Ending Man (Terminator) Video Game Console with game cartridges

BAM!

• Super Mario
• Mario Bros
• Contra
• Batman
• Tank3000
• Duck Hunt
• Clay Shooting
• Street Fighter....................... only to name a few
Uko na Cartridge??

>>>

Random Pic time!! :

"Hellooo....My name is Gup...

WAZEE HUKUMBUKA part1

I loved my childhood. I pity and feel for anyone who did not have a blast in the past. by blast, i don't mean getting served with roses by well-scented fairies who tend to your every need. i mean ugly goblins and gargoyles who screw your actions over and over again....
This is significantly symbolic to the roughness and hard times we experienced when we were kids. say for example when you had your¹  first bike.
(¹ ownership includes all your siblings, if any)


There was always that big guy / group of guys that were also there to make your 'riding' experience a living hell. your bike wouldn't even last for more than 24hrs before this ruffian(s) would make a move on it always commenced by the common gesture of nipatie ride. since your bike was new and you didn't want to be the mtiaji of all kids, you would usually comply. maybe the size of these buffoons would also be a factor but hey he will bring it back in time, won't he won't he won't he???......

The agreement was that the idiot would bring the bike after going for one 'lap'. you would wait wait and WAIT for it till the sun fries your a forehead a little and your dripping wet off your own sweat. after retreating back home with futile results, a whole 3-4hrs would pass and that's when the ticking clock matches with your heartbeat since dear old dad will pull up anytime soon....

Worry worry..... The bastard would then appear PUSHING the bicycle and with a grim look on his face. if you found a good one he would explain the whole escapade. If you found a bastard he would leave the wreck and run for his life before the government (your folks) came for him. When pops came in, stammering was quite evident in one's talk as you would try to explain to mzee why & how your dear one day old bike was a mess.

Another funny thing when we were kids was the many a times we would evade our own homes if a disturbing meal was prepared! any dish that didn't match your preference. Meals in this clique were usually mukimo, githeri, matoke etc.
All you had to do in such a case was befriend your 'sonko' neighbour (for that day he he) whom you knew had the chance of having fries almost everyday if not that; chapoz and linger around long enough so that you would indulge in the tasty food, careful enough not to seem greedy and dependent. It was bad luck on your side if you would be chased away by one of those mean moms with a "enda ukule lunch urudi" if your habits recurred. lol

I used to hate those really annoying kids that would really get on my toddler nerves. Lemme give an example, those spoilt brats that would tell everyone your secrets, those senseless idiots that would go tell everyone of what is in your house and what isn't. The kinda ones that would refuse to share their football, marbles, and worst of all not invite you to their birthday(s). Haha c'mon guys i know one of this has happened to y'all. but it's cool if maybe you did some of that sh*t. "TV yenyu si kubwa kuliko yetuuuu..." need i say more?
When i was a kid i lived for the moment. To say the least, nobody gave a f*ck about how the day would end or how tomorrow would begin. .. .. chill out for more <end>


additional crap: dunno why i had a real crush on this cartoon... Ms.Vavoom

Contemplation

So now I'm thinking......Music.......So where did it originate? How come it has so many genres? Why do we love it so much? Etc? This is the topic I’ve chosen to ponder, this chilly Wednesday morning at 1100hrs [for lack of a better thing to do].

I tend to consider a lot of times many of these ‘why’, ‘how’, ’what if’, ‘when’  queries don’t know why maybe it’s the thrill but anyway, deviating from the topic at hand a little, there’s one thing that really grinds my gears is how awesome the human brain is and how people have chosen to use it.

Scientists and science [who have been here since God knows when] are usually the best example as this guys go as much as trying to explain the unexplainable.

Take an example of how many theories they have come up with on how human beings came into existence. Evolution and what not but hey am not trying to diss all their life research and conductive experiments but the most common theory that grabs my attention is the theory against The Bible.

To some of them this book is depicted as a false rendition given to man by a certain group of people and that it was not hand-written by God. 

These people are said to have seen that the world was in shambles: violence, rape, sodomy, murder, theft and other morally degrading evils and thus thought of a solution where all this would be curbed. They therefore came up with the Bible as a set of laws and standards for the socially decaying world. Theorists say that this is evident through the “numerous loop-holes in the bible stories”. 

The best example I could give in this context is the story of our 1^st family to set foot on the earth, Adam & Eve. For the naïve, ignorant and faint-hearted, some of the documentaries that explain these theories have made some have a shake in faith and many have become atheists as a result.

In The book of Genesis Chapter 4, it says Adam & Eve had children, Cain and Abel. We all know of the story on how Cain killed Abel leaving him to be the only heir to Adam and Eve. Now due to his act, Cain was banished to be wandering off Eden. 

Eve conceived later and bore the third son Seth. Cain is the father of the Edomites (he had a wife and children).where he got this wife there being 3 people on earth provides a loop-hole. Then Seth also had a wife and bore children and had many descendants thus tracing the lineage to us. 

Theorists are very careful as they observe that Seth must have either had incestuous relations with his mother and sister. 

This is scary and can be considered because as to some extent there is no proof of otherwise. There are many of these theories, some I’ve chosen not to read/share because I have my faith to standby.

Aaaaanyway on to music now, I always wonder why I love listening to music so much.  Sometimes to cool my mood, relax nerves, sometimes to get me into a party mood, sometime because I’m bored then nikakumbuka some sermon I heard  <yes I have gone to church and yes I still remember the preaching> about how music is very influential in human lives despite the genre. 

And so alisema if you look at Satan’s background, he is a fallen angel. Meaning he was once in heaven then akajidai randy orton and God cast him out along with some followers (demons). So uko,devo alikuwa leader wa mangoma. Lucifer was in charge of music (by now all ye bright people should be catching my drift). Makes you wonder doesn’t it. 

One of the things that holds me back from getting saved is that, “sasa ntakuwa naskiza gospel pekee?” What if Jesus comes back and I’m still asking that question. Wololo! Hmmmm.

Another  thing ,

<no pun intended>,,,,I have never been a fan of rock music and I’m not against anyone who is, but seriously SOME of these bands, what is that you guys sing? worathoz names you give SOME of your bands?  Then I had a “rumor” that all (I think) rock albums sell platinum, multi, triple, quadruple platinum times! But then again it may just be very good music with a swarm of fans and thus a truckload of critics……who am I to judge.

Peace out homiez, before my head explodes……  pffffffffffff

This piece of writing is not meant to scare anyone but you can research more, therefore all comments and criticisms are most welcome. 

email:

wainiansam@gmail.com 

samyen71@yahoo.com